Fern Gully 3 or Human Centipede 4
by StupidSequel
Summary: Magi, paranoid about Hexxus coming back, turns all the fairies of Fern Gully into a fairy centipede to try to stop him. This fanfic is heavily based on the Human Centipede. I must warn you, this fanfic is full of squick, so it's not for young readers.


**Fern Gully 3 or Human Centipede 4**

**I wonder if this just might be my most audacious fanfic yet.**

"Oh my goodness, Hexxus is back!" Magi panicked. There was no evidence of their old enemy Hexxus in sight. This has been going on for several years.

"Oh Magi, Hexxus is long dead. You're being so paranoid," Crysta remarked.

"I am NOT paranoid! Hexxus must be stopped right now, stat!" Magi lit her middle finger on fire and smoked it like a cigar for emphasis. "I gotta go now, to work." Magi kissed Crysta on the cheek. Crysta shuddered.

Magi was showing a diagram to her colleagues at work.

"I don't think this forest is being protected enough from loggers or Hexxus, so I propose to create a super fairy being. I got the idea from watching the Human Centipede. What I do is, I take all the fairies in Fern Gully and sew them ass to mouth so they all share a single digestive tract. Their poop shall become increasingly magical, so when it passes through the final fairy, the magic poop shall save the rain forest from the evil Hexxus. The other fairies think I'm being paranoid when I tell them Hexxus is back, but they're the ones who are in the wrong." Magi laughed maniacally while a lightning strike sounded for dramatic effect. Then the screen darkened around her eyes, and then her eyes faded away into the darkness afterward, Disney style.

Meanwhile Crysta was showing off her bikini ready body in front of her old man father and talking to him in a seductive tone.

"Even though you're my daughter, I think I'm in love with you," he said at last.

When Crysta and her dad were done kissing, they gasped in horror at the sight of Magi and a mystery figure at her side. Upon closer inspection, they realized she had freed Hexxus.

"You're not fooling anyone. You're freed Hexxus. He wasn't out and about like you said," Crysta asserted.

"Actually that's not what this is about. See, Hexxus is an experienced surgeon. A pile of chocolate pudding may not look like it, but believe me, he is." Hexxus rounded all 12 non-Magi fairies and put them on the operating table at his house, and he did his surgery surprisingly successfully.

So all 12 fairies who reside in Fern Gully (besides Magi of course) were sewn ass to mouth in a fairy centipede. Pips was at the front. A British fairy named Percy was in the very rear (the fact that there's someone named Percy and he's having his mouth pooped in is an inside joke). Crysta was the seventh fairy if you count front first and go from there. The old man (prolly Crysta's dad, but who knows?) was sixth, which meant Crysta had to eat her dad's fecal matter. Nobody liked being in the fairy centipede. It meant having such a restricted diet.

Magi locked the fairy centipede up in a cage. Before Pips, she lay two dishes in front of him, a dish of lutefisk, and another dish that had vanilla paste.

"Should I eat the rutefisk or the vanirra paste?" Pips was unsure.

"Vanilla paste, vanilla paste," Crysta tried to scream, but her reply came out muffled.

"The rutefisk, you say?" Pips said.

"No, you idiot! The vanilla paste," Crysta tried to protest.

"Arr right, the rutefisk, it is, since you rearry want me to eat it," Pips declared. He sank his teeth into the stinkiest, yet best tasting fish dish ever known to man. When he was done, his tummy hurt. "Aw man, now my tummy is so furr, I have no room for the vanirra paste."

Six hours later, Pips had to go to the bathroom.

"Oh my God, the rutefisk is about to come out. Good ruck everybody." Pips finally voided his bowels. Every fairy behind him followed suit one after another. Crysta knew what was happening in front of her and knew she was fucked. Finally it was her turn to pass along the magical turd to the fairies behind her. She felt like she had to throw up, but she tried hard to restrain herself because if she did puke, it would end up going back inside her anyway, and it would thus be a vicious cycle. The magic turd finally came out of Percy's rear. Magi picked it up and examined it. She threw it at Hexxus. There was a small hint of something magical going on, but it wasn't nearly enough. Magi walked back over to the cage with the fairy centipede inside and force fed Pips some laxatives. The fecal matter traveled through the centipede like greezed lightnin, finally ending up outside Percy. Magi threw it at Hexxus. Still nothing. Magi then had an epiphany.

"What if it's the quality of the poop and not the quantity. Hmmm..." So she force-fed Pips the aforementioned laxatives and before it was Percy's turn to eat shit and poop it out, Magi sewed Pips's mouth to Percy's ass, turning the centipede into a complete circuit.

"I dub this the Fairy Ring-ipede," Magi announced. "The laxatives that Pips ingested will theoretically travel around and around the never ending digestive tract perpetually, getting stronger and stronger magically, accumulating more and more magic energy each lap it makes. You will eat the same turd many, many times. I hope you have not a problem with it." Everybody gave a muffled reply that was too something (what's the word for something that sounds too distorted to hear properly?) to hear. One by one every fairy counted the number of laps the turd made. Crysta found it harder and harder to not vomit until...

She vomited inside her father's asshole, and the turd was closing in. It was like a wrestling match between the turd and Crysta's vomit. Eventually every fairy started vomiting, and the pressure sent the turd in the opposite direction, coming out everyones' mouths and into the assholes of the fairy in front instead of the other way around. Magi had to intervene somehow. She ripped Crysta away from her father (she did not remember who was in front and who was in back) and it was like a vomit hose. Magi examined the magic turd that came from the Ring-ipede. She threw it at Hexxus. Just as she hypothesized, the magic was much stronger than the previous turds since, and according to her calculations, it had completed 47 laps around the Ring-ipede before the vomit war, where it completed an additional 17 laps before she called it quits with the Ring-ipede. Hexxus disappeared from existence in a puff of smoke.

Every fairy partied for two months in celebration before setting all of Australia's rain forests on fire to get back at Magi for the terrible, gross, traumatic experience they went through, by destroying the beautiful forest she loved so much. Also, by destroying the rain forest, now they automatically think the 9/11 terrorist attacks were the funniest thing ever thanks to the smoke from the trees screwing with their brains.

Since I know for sure that no one will ever read this far because the premise alone will likely scare you away, I might as well feel safe enough to feel free to tell you my deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secrets: I often fantasize about having gay sex with Justin Bieber. My room is covered ceiling to floor in pictures of his cute little face. Yes, I think he is the best artist ever, even better than Michael Jackson and the Beatles, but not necessarily combined. Also, I am a furry fanboy. I am obsessed with furries. I am 26 and I still wear diapers and I am a mama's boy. Welp, that's all for now. Are these real secrets or am I just trolling? You decide.


End file.
